Categorising possessions

The process of Swedish death cleaning is highly individual, as only your loved one will know what belongings they value more than others. It can be beneficial to document items — in a spreadsheet, diary, wall organiser or even a simple, written list — and rank them in terms of what to let go of, from the easiest to the hardest. Prioritising items may also give you insights into what sort of timeline you’ll need for the process.

Creating a sorting system

One of the most popular decluttering and sorting strategies is the Four Box Method. This enables you and your loved one to consider all belongings individually and deal with them accordingly. Prepare four big boxes or storage bins and then label them as follows:

• Box 1 – “Keep” – These are items that should go back into their designated area/s after a room has been de-cluttered.
• Box 2 – “Throw” – Try and discard these items as soon as possible. Ideally, recycle items via a recycling bin, at a recycling depot or during the local area’s curb-side pickup period.
• Box 3 – “Relocate” – These items should be stored outside the home, where they can then be sorted and sold, donated or gifted.
• Box 4 – “Store” – Pack these items neatly into appropriately sized drawers or containers, label them and then store them out of sight if possible.

Starting with less personal items

Magnusson recommends staying away from personal items like photos when you undertake the Swedish death cleaning process. She recommends starting with their wardrobe, as it’s easier to find clothing or accessories that don’t fit anymore or they no longer wear to put in a “give away” pile. This is ideally done with a close friend or family member so they can gain feedback on the items they are unsure about. If they are not sure, have them hold up an item and ask them to give a quick “yes” or “no” answer, as sometimes the less they dwell on an item, the easier the process is.

Starting with their wardrobe can also help build momentum as they move on to other areas of the home and eventually to more sentimental items like letters and photos that may be harder for them to part with.

Gifting possessions away gradually

Swedish death cleaning should be a gradual process because even if an item isn’t sentimental to them, it can still trigger memories. But even if it is a reminder of an experience, it may not necessarily be worth keeping. For example, ask them if they really need all those glasses and plates in their kitchen cupboard? Do they use that beautiful china they received as a gift on their wedding day? Chances are, the answer is no, particularly if they live alone.

The key to minimising the emotion that can be involved is to encourage them to gift things with thought and intention. Because some items may still be important to them, ask if they’ll consider gifting them to someone who has always complimented them or to people who will cherish and care for them the way they have.

Another strategy Magnusson suggests is to encourage them to give belongings to friends and family members as a birthday present. For example, ask if they’d consider giving a cherished book to a friend or a vintage piece of jewellery to a family member. When items are given away with purpose, your loved one is less likely to miss them, the recipient will appreciate the thought, and the loss will be associated with fondness, not regret.

Keeping mementos 

Sentimental items can be difficult to part with, as they have probably had them for many years, so it can be hard to let go. The process can also involve a lot of emotion, so when deciding what to keep, ask them what it means to them. If they have old yearbooks, love letters or other personal items, they may be significant to them, but not to others. If this is the case, store them in a box marked “to be thrown away” so they can be considered by family or friends when they pass away.

Donating or selling the rest

Once you and your loved one have decided what to keep and what to gift, decide on the best method for the remainder’s removal, and as quickly as you can, so they are not remaining as clutter. Some options to consider include:

• Selling them – If you think you could sell the item/s, consider online sites such as eBay, Gumtree, Facebook Marketplace or even the Facebook community page in your local area.
• Donating them – Giving to charities is a great way of passing on items to people who may actually appreciate them. Plus, some of the proceeds of the sale often go to people who need it most.
• Recycling them – As a last resort, if there are items that can’t be gifted, sold or donated, recycle them if you can. Any glass, paper or plastics can go into a recycling bin. If they are too big, they can be dropped off at the nearest recycling depot or picked up by a curbside recycling service in the area.

Collating important documents

Not only is it important that elderly loved ones pass on their wishes after they pass away, family and/or close friends should also be involved in the sorting and storage of passwords and important documents. Make a hard copy of computer passwords and collate any financial or legally binding documents so they are stored securely and easily accessible at a later stage.

Documents include their Power of Attorney, their Will, the Title Deed if they own their home, and ID documents like their driver’s licence, passport, Medicare card and birth and citizenship certificates.

Decluttering regularly

Ideally, decluttering should become a habit that’s done over a period of time. As we’ve mentioned, it doesn’t have to be done all at once — in fact, this can make the process even more distressing.

It’s also worth keeping a separate storage box in your loved one’s home so you can build a collection of items that will be gifted, donated, sold or thrown away. That way, belongings can be sorted over time and your loved one will slowly get used to parting with belongings that may no longer be used, serve a purpose or become burdensome once they have passed away.